I have a secret. Well, it's not a very well-hidden secret,
but it's a secret I've been keeping from my my peers at the university. For the past three weeks, I
have been working as a teacher for a kindergarten, teaching kids from the age
of 3 to 6 simple English words and phrases.
Me at the entrance to the school
It all started four weeks ago today, after I got back to my dormitory
from another grueling day of Chinese classes. I was all ready to sit down in front of my computer and read my e-book copy of
The Hobbit for the 37th time study, when Miguel, my roommate, asked me if I
was interested in some part-time work teaching kids English. Miguel's English is not exactly fluent, so I just thought I misunderstood him. This didn't turn out to be the case, as Miguel had another Mexican friend, a young lady named Marianela - or just "Nela" for short - was looking for native English speakers to fill out a part-time teaching position teaching little children English.
The kids busily 'learning' English
When Miguel asked me again, I wasn't quite sure how to respond. I need to make a few things clear before I continue: Over my years of studying Chinese language and culture, I have run into a good number of folks who have taught English overseas in China, South Korea, and Japan. Despite their experiences being generally quite good, I never once considered trying out that line of work myself. This was mainly because I considered the whole enterprise to be an absolute waste of my time. As far as I was concerned, there was no foreseeable financial gain to bring back to Canada, and it would simply distract me from achieving my real career goals back home. Finally, I never thought I had the proper disposition for dealing with kids, as my natural reaction to rowdiness and 'fun' is to crush it with the proverbial wrath of an angry god.
Me - "How dare you have fun!"
Despite my misgivings, I decided to meet with Miguel's friend Nela to further discuss this opportunity.
The kids at play
Meeting with Nela proved to be a very useful choice, as I was told what I would really be doing was spending two-and-a-half hours (1.30-4PM) from Monday to Friday teaching several different classes of kindergartners English. While I would be provided with a book to teach with, the "curriculum" was largely up for me to decide - Nela bluntly told me that you're really just entertaining and playing games with the kids, as they hardly had a good grasp of Chinese at their ages, let alone English. I also learned what my salary would be for this job, which added up to me being paid almost as much in a week as I was for an entire month of my scholarship earnings! Better yet, I would be paid directly in cash, without the need to open any bank accounts here in China, or having to pay any taxes.
What was going on in my mind as I was told about the salary
The job seemed both easy and interesting, and so I went with Nela to the home office of my new employer, "Hong N English" (洪恩英语).
When I first saw the office, I though "what a small school..."
After a very short interview with a older woman named "Mrs. Chan" - who insisted I speak only English to her despite her English skills being terrible and my Chinese good enough to have an interview with her - I signed a contract for a four-month employment period that is due to finish on December 15th of this year. I also insisted that be allowed to see a teaching demonstration from the young man whom I was replacing - an Irish fellow named Christy who happens to speak less Chinese than the kindergartners spoke English.
Christy preparing to teach
Thus, the following day, I went to the office, and hopped in a beat up-looking van - that I was supposed to be taken in every day - off to the school.
Inside the van - on the left is our driver (a Chinese fellow who insists I call him 'Michael'), and to the right is Nela
Once we go to the school, named 3+3 - or 三之三 in Chinese - I learned that I would be teaching three different levels of children divided according to their age groups: the Newton Class (ages 5-6), the Einstein Class (ages 3-4), and the Zhang Heng Class (ages 2-3). Every day, I would have to teach two groups of Newton classes for half an hour each, four groups of Einstein classes for twenty minutes each, and one Zhang Heng class for ten minutes per day. This knowledge in hand, I entered my first classes with Christy to see what a usual day would be for me. Rather than describing what Christy did, however, I will show you two videos of a very similar style of teaching:
It was one of the strangest experiences I've ever seen, as Christy spent most of the class just screwing around with the kids, and teaching them some random words and phrases. While it wasn't nearly as hilarious as Donnie's kindergarten class in the above videos, it was pretty close in terms of what was taught.
The 'teaching structure' that we teachers apparently teach these kids. Nowhere does it say, however, that we must teach the kids how to 'dougie.'
The 'textbooks" I was given were not of much use either, as they were obviously ripped off from a western-kindergarten book, and expect you to draaaaaaaaaag out teaching these kids extremely simple words:
These two pages constitute a week-long 'unit'
Regardless of my complaints about the textbook, teaching these kids has proven to be one of the most entertaining experiences I've ever had. That is not to say teaching them is not tiring, because it most certainly is exhausting, but teaching these kids fills me with a lot more joy and fulfillment than I gained attending my Chinese classes - the very reason I came here to Suzhou in the first place!
One of the hallways in the school leading to my first kindergarten class of the day
What makes the classes even better for me is that I don't have to worry about keeping order in any of the classes whatsoever, since each class is assigned one or two Chinese Teaching Assistants - who speak less English than the kids - to keep the kids on track - usually through hitting them and yelling at them very loudly in Chinese - and leaves me free to be the big, harmless foreigner!
The woman in the white shirt there doesn't hesitate to use that hairbrush in her hand for more than hair brushing...
The preparation for these classes is extremely easy, though you must be able to change your plans on the fly, as some of the activities you planned for the day may not turn out as well as you hoped. For instance, I tried to teach the kids body parts to the tune of of the song "Blessed Assurance," but I quickly realized the kids could not differentiate between the body parts and the words "this is my," as many of them were simply referring to their noses or legs as "thisismy."
My reaction when I realized what I'd done
I also quickly realized that I needed to add in props to my teaching repertoire to keep these kids attentive and entertained, and so I created a 'game' where I have the kids sing a dumbed-down line from a song - like "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" - and use a set of 'magical chopsticks' and randomly pick the kids one after another to repeat a rehearsed word in English.
The front gate of the school
I also figured I'd follow Christy's (and Donnie's) lead, and teach the kids some original words and phrases or my own. Being that I'm an ubernerd, I decided to teach the kids some English from things I enjoy, such as Star Trek...
...and Star Wars...
... and Friends...
I can't wait to teach them some stuff from Lord of the Rings next!
Just imagine all those little kids screaming Gandalf's line "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" in unison.
Until next time!
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